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View Profile Helbereth
Somewhere between the incandescent dreams cascading through my subconscious, and the derisive reality signifying eternal discontent, I ride a wavelength above conceptualization, but below the apex of understanding, awaiting an epiphany.

Paul Thibeault @Helbereth

37, Male

Sutton, Massachusetts

2/5/04

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I've been visiting Newgrounds off and on for years, and I've been dabbling in Flash for almost as long. However, I've never really been satisfied with my results. I've gotten decent reviews for what I've published, but I have this nagging sense that I really have no idea what I'm doing, still.

I love drawing, and planning, and scripting, but I get bored with the tedium of animation rather quickly. I've put some time into figuring out tricks and short-cuts, but it never seems to quite be enough to alleviate the soul-crushing boredom I and up feeling trying to animate a full movie.

Basically, I like the idea of animation, but I hate the practice.

For the past several years, I've kept at it, though. Trying to fool myself into thinking it would somehow become less tedious. Well, I'm writing this to say, I'm done. I'm not sure what I ever thought I was going to get out of animation, but it hasn't been an enjoyable experience building up a backlog of 50+ incomplete projects and a few thousand hours of time wasted.

Recent events have turned my attention to other creative pursuits; I've taken up writing again - which I had all but abandoned when I got involved with Flash. It's difficult to maintain one creative muse, much less two. Thus, I've decided to focus on writing for the time being. I'm still uncertain whether I'm really a wordsmith or merely a dabbler, but it's much less work maintaining a dialogue than it is a run cycle.

I will remain a casual observer to the Flash community, but I think I'm done actively participating in the production of animated features. Unless that role is in a department other than animation, at least. Perhaps someday I might dig through that backlog I mentioned and publish a memoir of sorts - a reflection on the time I wasted.

Though, I think I may start actually using this medium -the NG blog- to perhaps discuss recent happenings in the community. Of course, I'm merely musing as I write this, and I doubt anything of the sort will actually happen. I'd entertain the idea for a short while, though.

Now, just in case this resulted in your feeling a bit depressed, here's a picture of a darling baby seal:

Paradigm Shift.


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