Helbereth's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Trek Trek]

"I'll begin eliminating unnecessary crew members."

roflmao

Very funny flash. Great trek parody. What was unfinished that it took so long?

I needed a good laugh...

Wogoat responds:

whoops, I responded to the wrong one, well, like I said to the wrong guy, it was mostly the music.

and as I was going to say to the OTHER guy, the stiff movement is why I almost didn't post this one.

[John Kerry in Vietnam]

I love the smell of Waffles in the morning!

Satire? no. Parody? yes. There is a difference, people.

This wasn't particularly well-written, nor do I believe it's an accurate depiction of John Kerry during his 4 months of service in Vietnam (it's close, but it's a tad exaggerated), however it does do one thing -- emphasizes that John Kerry is not a leader anyone wants to follow. He has the wrong map, doesn't take human life seriously, burns his house down to get recognition and then out of sheer stupidity ends up getting his platoon wasted.

Everyone's sick to death of hearing about Vietnam. A war that -- incase you're not a history buff -- ended 30 years ago. I think one can make some reasonable conclusions about John Kerry based on his service in Vietnam, but that was still 30 years ago and people can change in 30 years. The only noticeable change I see is the position he holds and that scares me.

I think this would have been funnier if it was all about Bill Clinton's adventures in Canada, but since it's about the waffle king it loses points.

[our world]

Spelling errors aside...

It was a hollow, misdirected lament for social intelligence. It lacked any rhythm in the message, and sounded like cheap goth poetry written by a pre-adolescent rape victim. The music was a meandering, listless dirge that would fit better at a funeral reception. The photos were displayed poorly (wether it was for dramatic effect or to display the ineptitude of the animator I couldn't tell), and they didn't fit together in any sort of liner fashion.

Is religion supposed to be the cause of all these problems, or is it the cure? Overall it might make some people think about something, but the final message was so unclear that you're more likely to confuse viewers. I'm not a religious person, and after viewing this I'm no more or less likely to become involved in religion.

My advice is that you find a struggling elementary school student to come up with a better message, and maybe even find some relevant pictures.

[intro 4 mauron fixed]

Mom always said if you've got nothing nice to say

...

I can't resist.

Next time use a human form to base your character design on rather than a metal trash can.

Find a better place for the baseline.

At least have him rattle a bit when he moves so we know the armor doesn't actually fit.

Never try foreshortening - or at least not until you grasp direct perspective.

[The KERRY Kampaign]

It's all true.

I think if you watch Kerry giving that speech you can see it in his eyes: that's what he's really thinking - if he's thinking at all. Very prophetic and well edited together.

[UGLY]

Dark humor never seemed so accesible

Oh look, it's a sweet little girl with a lollipop! See boys and girls!

Now who is this here? A mean, ugly old man who smokes too much, drinks too often and doesn't love his mommy.

What a smart little girl, advising the man that his path is that of Satan. She's just so smart!

Oh but the old man is sad now. Evil people are often sad.

Watch out little girl, the mean man is not too keen on listening to your words of wisdom.

Uh oh, the man is getting angry, he has knives and...

Boys and girls can you all please gather around teacher so you can see what happens when smart people do stupid things. There that's good... now...

On the next page...

I can see it being a best selling children's book...

So long as your customers consist of Addamses...

[Metal Gear Fiesta]

If Hideo Kojima were dead...

He'd probably have a hangover in the morning...

This really is exactly what Metal Gear needs; Tacos and pinatas. A few fart jokes slipped in edgewise and I could see this being a debut game for PS3...

On second thought...

[Trek Lovin]

Lifted the sound byte...

That was edited together (as far as I know) by some freaks at 107.3 WAAF Boston. You should finish the animation and give credite where credit is due.

[Mario Saves Earth]

Don't insult my intelligence.

This is only about the 4000th time someone has had the thought "If I put it to the Benny Hill theme it will be funny no matter how much of a steaming pile of crap it is". Fortunately you made your own 'sprites' and scripted it so there's no plot, no point, no laughs, no violence, no fun and nothing even minimally exceptional.

Do us all a favor. Delete flash maker and get a job at Denny's.

CrawlAway responds:

your a fag, there is a plot. dont insult my flasshes, you dont even know what flash mx is! you called it flash maker! i dont even think you watched the whole thing. i would insult your flashes, but you dont even have a fuckin profile, so im guessing youve never made a flash. if you even looked at my prof, then you would know im only fourteen, so i cant get a job at dennys retard. the benny hill theme wasnt all the humor in it. your the loser soo fuckin get a life, i think your late for your job at dennys!

[The Icecream Machine]

Ice cream machines of the world unite!

Vending machines plotting world domination, and a punk kid that's been taking lessons from the Charlton Hestone book of dramatic indignation. I smell Hollywood blockbuster. Maybe they can get Matt Dyllan to play the title character?